Dear Mr. Oscar Mayer,
how are you today mr. mayer. i have some pressing concerns that i need addressed. i have read in ladies home journal that "swine flu" is on the rise! i do not know what swine flu is, and i became so alarmed that i was unable to finish the article in LHJ. but "swine" means "pig" and i belive hot dogs and ham are made from pigs.
so here is where the problem lies, every afternoon at 12:15 p.m. i enjoy a Ham Sandwhich. just ham and white wonder bread. it really makes a delightful yet practicle lunch. how does this inscrease my chances of catching the "swine flu"? should i stop eating my daily ham sandwhich? i would not like that and to be honest it would really put me in a pickle.
now if i am feeling wild or its a holiday i find a nice plump hot dog to be a rather enjoyable lunch, but you know i must reserve those for special occasions. but it puts me in the same situation now doesnt it.
am i up the stream with no paddle?
Mr. Mayer what is your company doing about this epidemic?
thank you for investagating this dire issue.
p.s. how could i obtain a weiner whistle? it has been a life long dream of mine to have one.
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